Never thought I would link to the Daily Mail, because their idea of ‘News’ is laughable, their journalism shocking and largely not proof-read, but their celebrity gossip and sensationalised stories are amusing, and I like to read it occasionally. It’s like fast-food, zero effort and bad for you, but enjoyable at the time.
Samantha Brick became infamous after posting an article titled ‘Why Women Hate me for Being Beautiful,’ an “informative” article about why ‘there are downsides to looking this pretty.’ There was a huge backlash of negative feedback from male and female readers alike, and she recently defended her article, responding to the uproar here.
I’m not going to disagree solely on the basis of her physical appearance, which is definitely not what I would call beautiful, just an average woman of her age group. I disagree on the basis that she says there is none of this female ‘bitchyness’ and judgement of physical appearance in the US, just the UK. Female ‘bitchyness’ exists in all countries on some level including the US, hence the trouble of high school, beauty pageants, competition in the workplace, friendships and fall-outs in female friend groups, and the high rates of plastic surgery in both the UK and US. But this doesn’t apply to all females, a lot of women care much more about their careers, education and family than bitching about other women or competing, and generally everyone should have grown out of this after leaving school (that’s not to say they all do, some still give in solely to primitive instincts).
Her other points included:
She says she has been rejected by female friends because she thought they were insecure about their husbands looking at her. And ‘not one girlfriend has ever asked me to be her bridesmaid’.
News-flash, friendships can fade, particularly when your friends are married, having children, and have less time to catch up, less in common with you or the friendship just wasn’t that strong. They probably weren’t even thinking about you, but if you want to make it all about you then perhaps that is your problem not theirs?
Though admittedly there are some marriages that do exist in this state of insecurity, and single females can be seen as the odd one out at dinner party consiting of married couples, I doubt that this applies to every single one of her female friends’ marriages.
She claims ‘Insecure female bosses have barred me from promotions at work’
This one is the only vaguely valid point, I’ve seen firsthand how some female managers are much nicer to their male staff than female, but this is generally regardless of the female’s aesthetic attractiveness, treating the female gender as a whole differently to the male. Equally some female managers are nicer to their fellow gender and more willing to empathise if their female employee is having a bad day.
But these two extremes certainly don’t apply to all, or even a majority, of female managers. Either way, her “lovely looks” (her words not mine) do not warrant such reaction. I would hazard a guess that it is her inflated opinion of herself, expectation and sense of entitlement from others, that lead her to feeling rejected or unfairly treated. Unable to take responsibility she blames something tangible and out of her control like her appearance.
Lastly, she claims females should compliment each other more but never do
I laughed when I read this part, and had to wonder what kind of company she keeps. The female friends I have always had, across the country, dote compliments on each other, ask advice of each other on what looks best, does this suit me, do you think I should dye my hair this colour etc. Of course you get your bad eggs, usually in school, the chav girls who bitch about everyone because of their own insecurity, but this shouldn’t tarnish the entire female gender.
Has she never wondered that perhaps the reason she doesn’t get more compliments is because: a) she’s keeping the wrong company b) she hasn’t warranted such positive attention, or c) she expects too much from people and is very insecure, requiring compliments to top-up her pay-as-you-go ego.
“I’ve regularly had bottles of bubbly or wine sent to my table by men I don’t know” And she adds that this is not unusual or uncommon
Yes, it is proven that women who men view as attainable or viable can get things for free. Even attractive female sex offenders get out of prison earlier than their less attractive counterparts, we all judge on some primitive subconscious level (the difference is most of us can override basal human instincts with logic and experience). There are lots of men like that out there, but again it doesn’t tarnish the male gender as a whole or mean that because one man buys you some Moet that the entire male gender finds you attractive.
The men who buy things for you without asking, then say it’s because your “smile made their day”, can really be translated as saying “Well, I had hoped for another notch on my bedpost”, I mean come on, you don’t think you’re the only lady they’ve ever done that for? A woman doesn’t have to be a 10/10 to get some men’s attention, in fact some men try to woo ladies who they view as in their own ‘league’ and wouldn’t dare attempt approaching a lady who they viewed as too attractive to be attainable. Again, this doesn’t apply to the whole male gender, just as the “bitchyness”/mistreatment of females to other females does not apply to the whole gender. But really, such naivety and delusion is unhealthy.
I found her whole article quite laughable. There’s nothing wrong with being confident in how you look, every girl has ugly days of insecurity and pretty days of going out feeling good in that new dress. Like Samantha, I also hate false modesty, or the self-deprecating comments some women make when fishing for a compliment, but to exaggerate your appearance and blame it entirely for your social and work-life problems is delusional.
PLEASE NOTE: I do not condone the abuse and threats Samantha Brick has received, and as stated I do not disagree with her article on the basis of her actual physical appearance.